I have to go out of town this weekend, so I’m going to miss the awesomeness that is the Star Trek vs. Star Wars convention.  Dangit.  I was really looking forward to taking pictures of people dresses up as Klingons and Wookies. 


 

I guess I can just watch this documentary instead about the Star Wars/Star Trek rivalry. 

From the cover, it looks freaking horrible. But, it has interviews with the likes of Leonard Nimoy, Carrie Fischer, Harrison Ford, Liam Neeson, and the one and only, William Shatner.

Or maybe I could watch the Star Trek animated series from 1973. Did you know there even was an animated series? I sure as hell didn’t. 

Or the ever popular Star Wars Holiday Special. I think I’d like it a lot more if I was on the same drugs as the creators were when they made this this.


 But wait! I just noticed that this weekend’s Star Trek vs. Star Wars convention is the first of two conventions. Yes, I may get to go see aliens and fanboys after all : )

Uncategorized | 5 Comments »

It’s that time of year to do a little spring cleaning.  I cleaned up my blogroll and left all the people I read on a regular basis.  And Tony, I took you off because I haven’t read you since you put up this blog about Greg Beck and the bloggers who went to his funeral…

All right, now that your token Black guy is dead and you’ve had time to grieve . . . Let’s talk turkey.

And…

So, until you folks dig up some other Black person to be “friends” with (don’t even think it) then you’re doing nothing but offering a skewed perspective on blogging in Kansas City…

And yes, I’m sure you’ll tell me it’s a joke… but it’s pretty sad to joke about a dead guy and his mourners.  So do me a favor and take me off your blogroll.  That way at least I won’t owe anything to someone who thinks so little of Greg and the people who cared about him.

* Oh, and Greg wouldn’t have approved of this post because Greg thought Tony was a bitter blowhard who people should ignore. But, I guess I’m so delicate that [I’m] unable to accept any criticism about my best friend a week after his funeral.  And from Tony’s response to this post, I guess he’s so delicate that he can’t take any criticism at all.

Greg Beck | 13 Comments »

Remember when XO at Hip Suburban White Guy had his blog reviewed by Ask and Ye Shall Receive last year?  Well I drank his Koolaid and submitted my blog for review, and here it is.  When Calamity left a comment saying her review of my blog was up, my first thought was, “Why the hell did I do this to myself?”.  But the review was pretty awesome, and I can work on some of the things she pointed out. 

While I’m letting strangers tear me apart, now’s the time to tell me if something really fucking annoys you about my blog.  And Dangerboy, that doesn’t mean you can list what annoys you about me… just my blog.

Uncategorized | 6 Comments »

Yesterday was a first… I finally complained about a clerk at Sunfresh.  Anyone who lives in the Westport area of KCMO knows how bad some of those Sunfresh checkers are.  Clerks there have been on cell phones or completely ignored me while they checked out my groceries more times than I can count. But I’m pretty laid back, so I’ve never complained… until yesterday. 

The checker made a mistake… no big deal really… but then she proceeded to yell at me and say it was my fault.  And she was shaking her finger at me and doing the “oh no you didn’t” neck move. I almost told her to take the bottle of wine I was buying and shove it up her ass.  But I didn’t, mostly because I really needed a drink after dealing with her.  Instead I found her manager and told him about it. 

I hate complaining about anyone because I know they could just be having a bad day.  But that Sunfresh clerk yelling at me for her mistake? Oh no she didn’t.

Uncategorized | 18 Comments »

I found a flyer for what may be the greatest thing to ever come to Kansas City. Behold:

Okay, maybe not the greatest thing unless you’re a sci-fi dork.  But still, Star Trek vs. Star Wars convention? With costume contests? Seriously people, I’m so going and taking pictures at this dork fest. And I can call them dorks because I’m a dork too.  BTW, I’m a little offended that Star Trek is listed first in the title… everyone knows that Star Wars is better.

Here’s the details if you can’t read their crappy flyer:  

Star Trek vs. Star Wars Convention

Saturday, May 3rd   9 AM to 5 PM
Sundary, Mary 4th   10 AM to 4 PM 

Penn Valley Community College Gym
3201 Southwest Trafficway
Kansas City, MO 64111

P.S. - And no, I’m not dressing up as Princess Leia, so don’t even ask.

Uncategorized | 11 Comments »

Dangerboy and I got married October 22nd, 2006.  Yesterday, April 15th, 2008, I finally hung some wedding photos on the walls. Oh yeah, I’m on the ball like that.  At this rate, if we have kids, I’ll be hanging their baby pictures when they’re getting married.  Anyway, I only put up these two pics…

Out of all the posed photos, we liked these spontaneous smooching ones the best.  If you want to see a few more wedding photos, they’re here. 

P.S. - It looks like this is the day to post wedding photos in the KC blogosphere.  Here’s Faith’s post from today. Check it out… hilarious : )

photos of me, Uncategorized | 9 Comments »

Okay, I’ll drink the blogger Koolaid and do this movie meme that I first saw on Logtar’s blog.  Here it goes…

My Rules
- Pick 15 of your favorite movies.
- Go to IMDB and find a quote from each movie.
- Post them on your blog for everyone to guess. Fill in the film title once it’s been guessed.

Your Rules
- Leave guesses in the comments.
- No Googling or using IMDB search functions. 
- Know-it-alls, limit your guesses to three movies.

1.   You want more mysterious? I’ll just try and think, “Where the hell’s the whiskey?”
Lost in Translation - Alexander & Doc (answered at the same time)

2.  Now look, maybe your method of massage differs from mine, but, you know, touchin’ his wife’s feet, and stickin’ your tongue in her Holiest of Holies, ain’t the same fuckin’ ballpark, it ain’t the same league, it ain’t even the same fuckin’ sport. 
Pulp Fiction - Bull E. Vard 

3.  Are these the Nazis, Walter?
     No, Donny, these men are nihilists, there’s nothing to be afraid of.
The Big Lebowski - Keith

4. If the milk turns out to be sour, I ain’t the kinda pussy to drink it.
Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels - Alexander

5.  That ain’t no etch-a-sketch. This is one doodle that can’t be un-did, homeskillet. 
Juno - Bull E. Vard

6. No fuckin’ way! You fuckin’ notice this? I got fuckin’ shot in the face! I went and got the fuckin’ money! I got shot pickin’ it up! I’ve been up for 36 fuckin’ hours! I’m takin’ that fuckin’ car! That fucker’s mine!
Fargo - Keith

7.  Searching for a boy in high school is as useless as searching for meaning in a Pauly Shore movie.
Clueless - Erin

8.  What would you do if you had a million dollars?
     I’ll tell you what I’d do, man… two chicks at the same time, man.
Office Space - Bull E. Vard

9.  The fact that you’ve got “Replica” written down the side of your gun, and the fact that I’ve got “Desert Eagle point five O”written down the side of mine should precipitate your balls into shrinking, along with your presence. Now fuck off.
Snatch - Nuke

10.  So what’s up with you guys? You supposed to be the Spice Boys or something?
The Big Hit - Nuke

11.  You’re just bastard people! And I’m goin’ home and I’m gonna… I’m gonna BITE MY PILLOW, is what I’m gonna do!
Waiting For Guffman - Average Jane

12. Off the top of my head, I’d say you’re looking at a Boeski, a Jim Brown, a Miss Daisy, two Jethros and a Leon Spinks, not to mention the biggest Ella Fitzgerald ever.
Oceans 11 - The D

13. Tuffi was a good bitch, and I gave her what every good bitch wants, a bone.
Out of Sight - Alexander & Doc (answered at the same time)

14. It’s not like I’m some modern punk, dickhead. It’s an obvious, 1977 original punk rock look. I guess Johnny fuckface over there’s too stupid to realize it.
Ghost World - Nuke

15. It’s such a fine line between stupid and clever.
This is Spinal Tap - Keith

Uncategorized | 17 Comments »

When I worked at the porn store, Greg came in one time to check out the place.  He browsed the DVDs, but decided my store had too much boring porn.  Unfortunately for him, the store didn’t carry much specialty porn, like hardcore S & M, tranvestite porn, or butch lesbians with power tools. 

Even though the store was underwhelming for him, Greg decided he wanted to buy a souvenir.  He came up to the register with a package of cock rings.  We got into a discussion about whether cock rings go over just the penis, or the whole cock-and-balls.  How they’re worn depends on what kinds of cock rings they are.  Either way, I told Greg the cock rings he picked would be too small for him.  He got all flustered, and told me he wanted that size. I kept telling him they wouldn’t work, but I rang them up anyway.

A couple of weeks later, Greg told me I was right… those cock rings were too small for him : )

*I thought this story about Greg would be a appropriate way to end the random porn customer stories since he was the one who got into this whole blog thing. I sure miss him.

Greg Beck, random porn customers | 8 Comments »

XO did a post about the downtown library that included a pic of a cool librarian shirt from TShirtHell.com.  Being a library lady, I had to order one:

And here’s me doing my best librarian shush:

And yes, those are my real glasses. 

photos of me, Library Smarty Pants | 11 Comments »

It looks like the adult magazine Gallery is going out of business.  When I worked at the porn store, the Gallery Girl Next Door of the Year was from St. Joseph, Missouri.  She came to the store and signed magazine copies and topless photos of herself…  I bet her parents were so proud.

Lots of adult magazine companies are hurting now because so much free porn can be found on the internet.  But, when I worked at the porn store, magazines were still selling hand over fist.  Customers would page through the magazines, or pick them up and see which ones weighed the most so they could get the most for their money.  We also sold older issues in 3-packs, and customers would try to take them apart and put three of their favorite magazines together, or put a new magazine in the middle.  One guy would always ask for a trash bag to put his magazines in.  It turns out he rode the bus, and our white bags were see-through.  He didn’t want to get disapproving looks from any old ladies on the bus.

P.S. — This is my 49th random porn customer story. I’m porn customered out… I’ve told you most of my dirty stories, and I think the 50th will be my last one.

random porn customers | 4 Comments »