This is a kid’s sled…
That thing in the middle is supposed to be a handle. What I want to know is why does the handle have a nutsac?
And here’s a kid’s stripper pole, complete with garter and fake money for little friends to give as tips:
More oddball toys on this list from Cracked.com. At least check out the #24 toy on the list… yikes. And XO and Keith may get a kick out of the Jesus Robot at #25.
Our trip to California was great, and it was a pain in the ass to come back to all the snow in KC. Dangerboy has a recap and he’s also posted some pics. He hit all the highlights in his post, so I’ll skip those and tell you about the porn clerk stuff.
In LA, we stopped in the Hustler store and I bought some Olivia playing cards featuring Bettie Page. After the clerk swiped my credit card, their machine broke down. While we waited for it to be fixed, a well preserved woman came in and asked where the condoms were. She told the clerk, “Make-up and condoms… I can’t help buying either”. It was 11 in the morning, and I figured she had a nooner scheduled with someone who wasn’t her husband.
We found a porn store near Larry Flint’s Hustler Club in San Francisco called Big Al’s. A sign there read, “Preview any movie for $10″. Why would you want to preview a movie? That’s how much their wack off booths cost. 10 bucks… seems kinda steep to me.
We went to Good Vibrations in San Francisco and checked out their antique vibrator museum. Most of them looked liked hand mixers to me. We looked through their books and found one called A Hand in the Bush: The Fine Art of Vaginal Fisting. I didn’t realize that fisting was a fine art. And in case you’re wondering, we didn’t buy it… I have no interest in having an entire hand within punching distance of my uterus.
My eye doctor says I have dry eye syndrome. Now I have to use some not so cheap eye drops for six months. But I figure that dry eye syndrome has to be better than dry vagina syndrome.
It’s that time of year again… New Year resolution time. And hell, most of us break these within the first couple of months, but it’s still fun to have goals, right? So in the spirit of the season, here’s my resolutions…
- Get out to the bars more often.
I love dive bars, people watching, and listening to live music. But I’ve really fallen off the bar wagon in the last few months. I plan on hitting my favorite bars more often this year.
- Drink more.
Yep, you read that right. I haven’t drank much in the last year or so, and I’m out of practice. I’ve got to get my tolerance back up.
- Comment more often on your blog posts.
When I’m reading blogs, I’m usually just happy to be there. But I want to leave more comments so you know I’m reading what you have to say.
- Finish writing the random porn customer stories.
There’s still a few of these rattling around in my head.
That’s about all for resolutions… or at least the ones I’m going to post here. I hope you all had a great New Year’s!
