So porn customers would often tell me about their sex lives. Some talked about sex because they were nervous and trying to act cool. Others were exhibitionists, and still some tried to used their sex escapades as odd pickup lines.

So this one couple would come in regularly and buy toys, lubes, handcuffs… you know, the usual.  And their next trip in, they would tell me what they thought of the toys they bought last time.  Not that I ever asked, mind you… they just liked to share.

So one time when they were in, this guy and his little blonde girlfriend bought a toy called the Accomodator.  Basically, a person can wear it while they are trying to orally pleasure their partner.  In theory, this toy sounds very cool… but the execution of it is just laughable.  I mean, how can you get in the mood if your partner gets into bed with a dildo strapped to his chin?

So this couple bought it and later he was telling me about what happened one night when they used it. Apparently, they were both really drunk when they got into bed that night after a big Mexican meal and drinks with friends.  The guy decides to get out the Accomodator and get down to business.  So he goes at it and, pretty soon, she starts to feel not-so-good in the tummy.  She tells him, but he’s really into what he’s doing, and he keeps going.  She says something again, but he’s still going to town.  She can’t hold it anymore and… well, you know the term “shit head”?  I guess he ended up being one, literally.  

Now, what amazes me about this story is not the fact that it happened.  Hell, I’ve heard much weirder things.  No, what amazes me is that he would tell me this.  I’m not sure if having you girlfriend shit on your head is really something you want people to know, now is it? 

Posted by michelle on Wednesday, January 31st, 2007 at 12:58 pm.